Marriage Horrible Business
by zumanity ringmaster
Summary: What happens when that dreaded time of year comes around? Why is the town acting so strangely? I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with the moody vampire! A present for my best friend Stacey C. One shot just for you!


The tension in the tiny town in Northern Canada was almost palpable. It was as if the chill that surrounded them was stress made tangible. The adults were quieter. The teachers assigned piles of busywork and homework. The human students were warier about the "family" that sat in the middle of the cafeteria.

The cause of the tension was currently sitting in his Advanced History class. Today's topic was the American Civil War, and how it affected Canada. The vampiric student scowled at his text book. The stupid thing was all wrong. The table on which the peace treaty was signed on was not stolen from Appomattox; it was hacked into pieces and given out as souvenirs. He should know, he did the hacking and had the table top hanging on his wall.

Jasper grouched once again at his book, and the lack of mentioning the attack on the salt train. He had led the defense for that, the North had tried to cut off the supply of salt to the South, and he had stopped them. Jasper looked out the window. That wasn't the reason that he was upset today. Today was the day he had to propose to Alice, to keep up the façade that they were all human.

"Why do I have to be the one to do this?" Jasper thought to himself, his mood getting blacker, and "Carlisle and Esme don't. They are the 'adults'. Rose and Emmett don't. They are so openly sexual that all the humans know they will be going at it like little rabbits for a while. Nessie and Jake don't have to either! They are so sweet in love; everyone expects them to be married! Bella and Edward got out of it this time since they are somewhere in the North-East Pacific. So why me?"

Jasper ran his hands over his scars, a calming habit of his. Even though he and Alice were already married and very much in love, he still wanted everything to be perfect. But how perfect can you get when the surprise factor is taken away by the fact Alice is a Seer? She already knew.

Jasper looked out the window again sighing. Alice didn't have a class this period. She would be noticing the tension in the air. Jasper looked at the clock, and started counting down. 3. 2. 1.

There was a knock on the door. The teacher, Mr. Estrada, went to open it.

"Who goes there?" the diminutive Hispanic man asked.

"Alice Cullen, sir. Jasper is needed in the front office with books."

"You know, there is a song there." Said Mr. Estrada. Jasper rolled his eyes as Mr. Estrada launched into one of his famous songs. Jasper just walked out.

Alice was outside, and Jasper started to make his way to the front office. Alice smirked and led him the other way.

"Ali, where are we going?"

Alice sighed, Jasper only called her Ali when he wasn't paying attention. "Jazz, dear, you have been under too much stress! I'm sure I don't know what it is," Alice rolled her eyes sarcastically at this point "but you need to relax. And I am taking you to do just that."

Alice pulled him into a room somewhere in the middle of the school. She had decorated it appropriately, it was relaxing like a private room at a spa. Soft lighting and colors, a few flowers, and a bed of sorts.

Jasper looked around "What's all this?"

Alice turned her back to him. "Strip. I'm giving you a massage" Jasper looked at her like she had grown another head.

"I know how you are looking at me Jazz. Just do it or I will get very angry at you!" Jazz sighed. What could he do? Alice was a force of nature, equivalent to every natural disaster combined. It was bad as a vampire. She must have been horrible as a human and Jasper personally thought that was why she was in the insane asylum.

Jasper finally had his clothes off. He decided to do it at human speed since they were still in the school, and honestly it was cute to see Alice get impatient.

He lay down on the table, placed a cloth over the important parts, and Alice started the massage after turning on soothing music. Jasper tried to relax, as Alice stroked, rubbed, smoothed, and massaged the stress out of his muscles. Jasper started to feel nice.

The stress about having to propose again had left him. He just enjoyed everything. Life suddenly was golden. Then he felt it. Alice was doing something that was defiantly not a massage. Jasper opened his eyes to see Alice kissing his hips and stomach. He attempted to get up.

"Shhh, don't." Alice murmured into his thigh. Jasper collapsed back. He knew she knew what she was doing. The tent in the small cloth covering him was proof enough. Well it wasn't covering him anymore, it was daggling off the tip, like a little white flag of surrender to her ministrations. Her kisses were spread all over his hips, thighs, and stomach, even once gracing his balls with a soft kiss.

Jasper was aching, throbbing, in his mind screaming for more. Alice smirked as if she knew what he was thinking. She probably did. She stepped back away from him and slowly stripped down to the lingerie she had underneath- silver lace and silk, with a little Confederate flag on one cup of the bra, and on the panties. Jasper was a Confederate man, through and through; and definitely a man- he loved those crotch-less panties like a Southern belle loves mint juleps.

Alice walked over to him and smiled as she straddled him, finally kissing him. Jasper groaned, though not one for vocal displays (that was Alice's domain) he was in a sick twisted heaven. He wanted so much more, and it felt so good. Alice began to rub herself against him, and he groaned again, his head falling back, his hair falling in his eyes.

Alice kept up her pleasurable torture. Jasper's length was weeping, clear drops flowing down. Jasper became impatient. He grabbed Alice and forced her down onto him. They both hissed at the intense feeling that went with the intrusion. Alice leaned down and kissed him again.

"Impatient?" she murmured against his lips.

"Always" he whispered back. He got off the table, and while holding Alice started moving in and out of her, faster and faster slowly moving to vampire speed and strength.

The two moved faster and faster together, the room slowly filling with the scent and heat of sex. Alice came all over Jasper. He pushed in one last time and then came, filling her to the point it dripped down him and onto the floor.

Jasper collapsed back on to the massage table, holding Alice to him.

"So what do you say big guy?" Alice looked at him after catching her breath. "Want to get married?"


End file.
